Parshat Vayishlach: It's the Little Things that Matter Most

This week’s parsha tells the episode of Yaakov’s struggle with the angel of Eisav. The Torah says, ויתר יעקב לבדו, ויאבק איש עמו עד עלות השחר - “Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.” Many commentators question why Yaakov remained alone? Why did he separate from the rest of his family? Rashi answers that after crossing the river with his family, he realized  he left some small jugs behind and went back to get them. Why? For a few small jugs? It was dangerous to go back alone. What was so important about them? Rashi explains further -- the righteous guard over monetary possessions more than their own bodies;  he went to save these small jugs despite the danger involved. But many commentators suggest there must be an even deeper lesson here. Let’s try to understand it through a parable.

A man once knocked on the door of a home and was greeted by the homeowner. “I absolutely love your house and must have it; I know it is worth $500,000, but I love it so much that I will pay you $1,000,000 for it.” The owner discussed it with his wife and they decided they had no interest in selling. The visitor was persistent and said, “All I need is one room in your amazing house. I will give you $250,000 to buy one room!” The owner discussed it with his wife, who felt this would leave her with little privacy in her own home, and so they rejected this offer as well. The visitor persisted, “All I need is to put one of my nails into your wall and I will pay you $50,000 for it!” The owner discussed this with his wife and they agreed that a nail couldn’t be too intrusive and so they agreed. The visitor came in the home, took a nail, hammered it into the living room wall and left.”

Later that night at 3:00 AM, a knock on the door awoke the homeowner’s wife. She asked her husband to answer the door and there he found the man who purchased a slot in the wall for his nail. The owner inquired to why he was there at such an odd time. The visitor replied, “I couldn’t let the nail stay there without a picture, so I brought a beautiful picture to hang up. I paid a lot of money for this so I must come inside now to hang up the picture. At 4:00 AM the door rang again, the visitor said, “I found an even better picture, I must hang this one up.” The same thing occurred at 5:00 AM, and repeated for a week.

The homeowner's wife told her husband she had enough and had not slept all week. She instructed her husband to go sell the visitor the home. The owner first offered to sell the home for $1,000,000, but the visitor replied, “I no longer need the whole home; I have my nail.” The owner replied, “just take it for the market value of $500,000.” The visitor again replied he no longer needed the home, as he was happy with just his nail. The owner persisted, “I will even sell it at a loss for $250,000; just take it and leave us alone.” But the visitor replied again that he no longer needed the home and was content with his nail. Finally, the owner and his wife were so frustrated that they just got up, left the house and told the visitor he could take over the home for nothing.

The lesson from this story can help us shed light on the importance of the small jugs of Yaakov. Each of us is on a path of growth in avodat Hashem and it is only the yetzer hara that gets in the way. He tries to attack us over small things, just to get his foot in the door, so he can break us down completely. This occurs in two ways:

1. The yetzer hara gets us to do small aveirot which eventually leads us to do bigger aveirot. He gets us first to do small things, convincing us they are not that bad. Once we fall in our spirituality and get used to some aveirot, our guard is down, and he gets us to perform even worse acts.
2. The yetzer hara prevents us from performing small mitzvot first, but eventually that prevents us from performing even bigger mitzvot. Again, he convinces usthe smaller ones are not so important and once we get out of the habit of performing these mitzvot, he is able to more easily prevent us from performing the big ones.

So what is our response? How do we overcome the yetser hara?

We need to live in the here and now. We need to take small steps. Remember the small jugs of Yaakov. Taking small steps in our avodat Hashem; not taking on too many new things at once, will allow us to grow in a healthy ways --  ways that will allow us to maintain our growth over the long term.  From a slightly different perspective, we sometimes tragically see ourselves as pachim ketanim and listen to the deflating and denigrating lies of the angel of Eisav. We don’t believe we are capable of greatness; we believe we are worthless pots that are certainly not worth others risking their lives for us. If we focus on the moment, we can conquer the yetzer hara and achieve greatness!