With Chanukah fast approaching, I thought we would take a detour from our typical parsha thought and take a look at one aspect of this special upcoming holiday.
Every year in early November, I am confronted with the same halachic dilemma. In the mail, I have received an invitation to the wedding of a friend or family member. The problem is that the wedding date is the Sunday of Chanukah and the wedding is called for 4:00 pm. You are probably wondering what could be the problem with a wedding during Chanukah? Moreover, why is the problem specific to Sunday?
Of course, there is nothing wrong with a Chanukah wedding, in fact what better day of joy is there to get married on. However, the problem that we are faced with is, when to light the Chanukah candles?
The normal time for lighting the candles is sometime at or after sunset (depending on your custom – see Shulchan Aruch Orach Chayim 572/1.) On the average year, that means you light at or after 4:45 pm. (Toronto time) If it is impossible to wait until sunset to light, the question arises if one can light earlier? In fact, this is the subject of great debate, to which the Shulchan Aruch (572/2) rules that one may light from Plag Haminchah, which is 1 and ¼ halachic hours before the stars appear, in the average year approximately 3:35. The Mishnah Berurah (572/2) even permits you to make the brachot in such a case.
A second halacha to keep in mind is that not only do we begin lighting after sunset, but preferably the latest time to light is “until the people cease to walk about in the street.”(Shabbos 21b) Although the Shulchan Aruch (572/2) says that this is only thirty minutes after sunset, Rav Moshe Shternbuch (Teshuvos V’hanhagos Vol. 1. Siman 390) says that nowadays, since out door lighting allows people to walk in the streets until a much later time, one could light the candles until approximately 9:00 pm. This is of course only the latest time to light if you are depending on people outdoors seeing the candles, thus fulfilling the aspect of Pirsumei Nisa. However, if there are people awake in the home, one may light even past 9:00 pm. (Mishnah Berurah 572/11)
With the wedding called for 4:00 pm, when are we to light candles?
There are three possible alternatives and one must determine which of them apply to one’s individual situation. The first alternative would be to light just before leaving for the wedding (assuming that is after Plag Haminchah). However, this is obviously not a preferable option since the Shulchan Aruch permits it only in a case of great need and although the Mishnah Berurah permits one to recite a bracha on such a lighting, that is subject to great debate and therefore, should only be relied upon when absolutely necessary.
The second option would be to appoint a Shaliach (agent) to light for you in your home at the proper time. This is obviously not always logistically possible, but if it is, one may want to consider it in certain circumstances.
The third possibility would be to wait until one returns home from the wedding to light. However, since that will likely be after the time “people cease to walk about in the street,” this would only be permissible if there is at least one other family member up while the candles burn.
Which option is more halachically preferable? That question is easy. Wait until 4:30, light at the proper time and then go to the wedding late. Unfortunately, that will often not be a socially acceptable alternative. The use of an agent to light for you would not be the best alternative in this scenario because of the principle that “Mitzvah Bo Yoter Mi B’shlucho,” which means that it is better to do a mitzvah personally than through the use of an agent. The use of an agent then would only be used in a case where you are leaving to go on a trip and will not have a chance to light later on, and then it is better to use an agent to light at the proper time for you in your house than for you to light at Plag Haminchah. (Sheivet Halavi Vol. 4, Siman 6)
Therefore, we are left to decide between lighting early at Plag Haminchah or later upon returning from the wedding. It would appear that since as mentioned previously many authorities do not permit you to make a bracha when lighting at Plag Haminchah, it would be preferable to light late upon returning from the wedding. Again, it is important to note that this is only permissible if there is another family member up when you are lighting. (Piskei Teshuvos 572/3)
If this is the case, we are left with one more challenge. There is a halacha that when we have mitzvot that have to be done at a certain time, we are not allowed to eat a meal before performing the mitzvah, lest we forget to do the mitzvah. For example, we are not allowed to eat once nightfall hits before doing bedikat chametz, on Friday night, we are not allowed to eat once Shabbat begins until we recite kiddush, etc. So too here, once it gets dark, one is not allowed to eat before lighting the menorah. So does my suggestion really work? How can you enjoy the wedding if you cannot eat?
I once presented this question to Rav Hershel Schachter, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva University and he told me there was an easy solution to this problem. Since the whole concern is that we might come to forget to do the mitzvah, if you ask someone to formally remind you later when you get home that you need to light the menorah, that reminder is good enough to remove the concern, thus allowing you to eat and enjoy the wedding meal.
I hope it is now clear why I am hesitant to open any wedding invitation that I receive in early November. And although I do not wish to complicate the planning of a wedding any more than necessary, it seems clear that it would be preferable to have the wedding begin sometime after sunset as to permit the proper fulfillment of the mitzvah of lighting Chanukah candles. However, if that is not an option for the caterer or if you are just a guest invited to a wedding, then we have outlined a course of action that can help you both enjoy the great simcha of a wedding as well as fulfill the mitzvah of lighting Chanukah candles.
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